Love the Way You Lie

The new song featuring Eminem and Rhianna has been receiving a lot of public attention. It's constantly played on the radio, on Muzak stations, and in department stores. But, until now I've never really stopped to understand and appreciate the lyrics. I have always appreciated the talent that Eminem has putting words together to make music, but maybe the impact of his music is bigger than he thinks.

The lyrics can be found by following this link:

http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/eminem/lovethewayyoulie.html

The song opens with Rhianna singing the only words that she sings throughout the entire song. She admits that their relationship is painful, but she will stay with him because she "likes the way it hurts," even though he clearly does not care that he is causing her pain. This reinforces a "shut up and deal with it" attitude for women and girls in abusive relationships. It encourages the cycle of violence that keeps abusive relationships intact--when a man beats a woman, it's okay because she loves him and he still loves her. This signifies a larger societal problem that goes beyond just abuse to perpetuate female passivity in other aspects of life. The fact that these are the only words that Rhianna gets to say while Eminem has multiple, different verses shows that there is no emphasis on her opinions or experiences.

Additionally, Eminem's lyrics are extremely violent in this song. In the first verse he describes a scene in which Rhianna is attempting to leave him, and he just doesn't accept it and tells her she can't leave. And she doesn't; she stays with him. This is another example of how the cycle is perpetuated--not only by the woman is compelled to stay by herself, but also by the man telling the woman she is not allowed to leave. 

At the end of Eminem's first verse, he explains a situation in which "he laid hands on her." In the context of the song, this appeared to be the first time something like this had happened. He even says that he doesn't know his own strength, and that it will never happen again. This is also a common conversation that happens betweens abusers and the people they abuse--"I'm sorry, it won't ever happen again."

In the second and third verse he explains times when he physically assaulted her on different occasions. However, she continually took him back. At the end of the third verse, he says "I apologize even though I know it's lies" which only further exemplifies, and seemingly popularizes, the process of abuse. 

While this song encourages females to remain passive and reinforces the idea that women are weak because they remain in abusive relationships, it seems to do the opposite with men. The song encourages men to be overly aggressive. It shows the true test of manhood is violence against women by using a popular figure abusing a woman with absolutely no consequences--she doesn't even leave him by the end of the song. Additionally, it encourages men to not take no for an answer. At one point in the song, she tries to leave him but he won't let her. At another point he says that if she tries to leave, he will "tie her to the bed and set this house on fire." This shows that women don't have the power to say no, and even when they do, they are not taken seriously and their wishes are quickly over-looked. In order to live up to societal expectations of masculinity, men must be overly aggressive, violent and abusive--according to this song. Eminem is never really condemned in the song for the behavior, and Rhianna reinforces it. Only proving how there is no real course of action against abuse.